God IS GOOD! ALL THE TIME!

Ok guys. In January, my vet gave me some heartbreaking news about Lynx. He had a large lesion on his deep digital flexor tendon. No real options available. Turn him out. No riding. No barrel racing. Nothing. Re-check in a year. I was DEVASTATED.

Know that Lynx is my heart horse. My champion. My main man. Telling me that I could possibly never ride him again broke something inside me. Well, today, he was not using that leg. He was a tripod. I went straight to the worse case scenario. My friend went with me to the vet to have him checked out.

First thing first.. hoof testers. Sure enough, he has an abscess in the foot. It’s a good one… but my gut said to have the vet re-check that deep digital flexor tendon. At first he forgot. I mean, he sees 30-100 head a day… so he forgot why I would ask such a question. But he did it… the lesion is GONE. Poof! Not there!!!!! He went and read his notes and looked again… the shock was felt by all! I was asked what I did… well, pulled his shoes and kicked him out in the pasture. Kept him on his once a month dose of summit but nothing else. I prayed a LOT. Loosing my main mount was soooo hard. So I prayed that God make it His will.

God has done some things in my life that I didn’t like, but they always worked out in the end. My first horse died in a freak situation and it forced me to step up on Gabe the Babe. Gabe got injured (broke his hip) when Lynx was 4???? And forced me to step up on Lynx and move him forward. Gabe came back for my son to ride a little. He is 21, can’t be saddled (gets really mad) but is healthy and ok for bareback riding. Well, Whiskey came into my life in December 2 weeks before Lynx was diagnosed. I asked God why He breaks my current horse to force me to ride the next in line. I prayed that this would not be the case for Whiskey and Lynx. I cried, I prayed, I decided to send Whiskey to get his ride on (broke to ride) and just settled in with riding Splash and Declan… not my personal favorite mounts but I needed to ride. Lynx would get depressed when he wasn’t caught to ride. I literally could feel his depression.

Lynx and Whiskey

So today, when I saw Lynx so bad off… my brain went to the worst case scenario and came home with more than I expected! I GET TO RIDE LYNX AGAIN!!!! LYNX WILL BE GOOD TO GO!!!!! Of course he has to heal from his abscess and then get re-checked…. and legged up….BUT, I got my horse back!!!!!!!!! GOD IS SO AWESOME!!!!!!!!! Please keep praying! We have to do some things before he is ready to go back to barrels but, it’s possible! All things are possible through Christ!!!

Life is hard.

Most of you know about my horse Zbar Lynx to Cash aka Lynx. He has been my champion for over 10 years. I raised him. I’m the only one that has ever run him on barrels. On the flip side, he has been giving lessons to my kiddos.

This horse taught me what trust means. How to truly trust in training and how to let it go to enjoy the ride. Never have I ever felt what I felt when running Lynx. I always knew he was going to turn that first barrel no matter how hard he came running! The feeling of flying through the air and just knowing I would enjoy the ride was everything. He was my partner. He always stayed under me in every single situation. It was the best feeling in the world to run him (horse wise) and I am really going to miss it.

Today we went to the vet. He has been “off” on his front right for some time now. Last week he also injured his right hind. We went in around thanksgiving and didn’t find anything new with front right. But the right hind had me worried. Right off the bat, my vet started blocking his front end. One foot at a time. He said whatever went on with the hind leg is fine. But his front had him pulling out the ultrasound. Come to find out, he has a lesion on his right front deep digital flexor tendon. Not a small one either. At age 15, he is now retired. Not much can be done. It’s a large lesion. He also has fluid on the front left in the same area. I have been praying for an answer. A solution. What to do to help him. This was not the answer I expected. He is retired to the point that he can’t give lessons. He can give pony rides. He might be ok for a nice quiet trail ride. But not right now. I think my heart broke in half with this news.

Being told that your heart horse will no longer get to run, lope, workout (he is that crazy workout guy) or really do anything at all is simply devastating. I don’t know how to tell him that he can’t go on the trailer anymore. That I pulled his shoes so he can enjoy the pasture life. I don’t think he is going to take it well at all. My rockstar is now retired. I can get a second opinion. I can put thousands of dollars into a 2% chance of helping this but the outcome is slim to none. I will let him live his happy life knowing that his past was AMAZING.

Honestly, I don’t know what to do with myself now. Do I really want to barrel race on another horse? Not really, no. I can’t imagine running anyone but Lynx. 10 plus years is a long time. Whiskey will be broke to ride soon. Do I want to run him on barrels? Honestly, I don’t know. I think I might try sorting. This situation is simply soul crushing for me. So I’m sorry if I come off a little coarse for a bit. I don’t mean it. My heart is standing in a stall asking me why we can’t go for a gallop across the field right now. I’m going to cry. I’m going to be sad. I’m going to go through all the stages of grief. God has his plans. I just wish I knew the outcome.