God IS GOOD! ALL THE TIME!

Ok guys. In January, my vet gave me some heartbreaking news about Lynx. He had a large lesion on his deep digital flexor tendon. No real options available. Turn him out. No riding. No barrel racing. Nothing. Re-check in a year. I was DEVASTATED.

Know that Lynx is my heart horse. My champion. My main man. Telling me that I could possibly never ride him again broke something inside me. Well, today, he was not using that leg. He was a tripod. I went straight to the worse case scenario. My friend went with me to the vet to have him checked out.

First thing first.. hoof testers. Sure enough, he has an abscess in the foot. It’s a good one… but my gut said to have the vet re-check that deep digital flexor tendon. At first he forgot. I mean, he sees 30-100 head a day… so he forgot why I would ask such a question. But he did it… the lesion is GONE. Poof! Not there!!!!! He went and read his notes and looked again… the shock was felt by all! I was asked what I did… well, pulled his shoes and kicked him out in the pasture. Kept him on his once a month dose of summit but nothing else. I prayed a LOT. Loosing my main mount was soooo hard. So I prayed that God make it His will.

God has done some things in my life that I didn’t like, but they always worked out in the end. My first horse died in a freak situation and it forced me to step up on Gabe the Babe. Gabe got injured (broke his hip) when Lynx was 4???? And forced me to step up on Lynx and move him forward. Gabe came back for my son to ride a little. He is 21, can’t be saddled (gets really mad) but is healthy and ok for bareback riding. Well, Whiskey came into my life in December 2 weeks before Lynx was diagnosed. I asked God why He breaks my current horse to force me to ride the next in line. I prayed that this would not be the case for Whiskey and Lynx. I cried, I prayed, I decided to send Whiskey to get his ride on (broke to ride) and just settled in with riding Splash and Declan… not my personal favorite mounts but I needed to ride. Lynx would get depressed when he wasn’t caught to ride. I literally could feel his depression.

So today, when I saw Lynx so bad off… my brain went to the worst case scenario and came home with more than I expected! I GET TO RIDE LYNX AGAIN!!!! LYNX WILL BE GOOD TO GO!!!!! Of course he has to heal from his abscess and then get re-checked…. and legged up….BUT, I got my horse back!!!!!!!!! GOD IS SO AWESOME!!!!!!!!! Please keep praying! We have to do some things before he is ready to go back to barrels but, it’s possible! All things are possible through Christ!!!

Mental Health

We all have issues. Sometimes those issues are not outwardly apparent to others. My issue is anxiety. My horses keep me sane in a way that no one else can. Problem is, I can’t avoid interaction when my anxiety takes over. So, instead I surround myself with like minded individuals who understand where I am at when I have an attack. They know that when o have an episode, I need help. I need someone else to fill my shoes and help me to get through it. Anxiety is really hard to understand if you have never experienced it. Many people have it and try to cover it up. I will say that it has crippled me more than once.

Last night, I had a 4 hour episode that I’m sure was compounded over weeks if not months of issues. I felt like my heart might jump ship. I had pain. Lots of pain in my head , chest and arm. No sleep. I did not have random thoughts. It just hit me. I had to breathe through it and finally fell asleep. Lucky for me, I have great friends that stepped in to help me today. Normally, after an attack, I would stay in bed and shut off from the world. That was NOT an option today. But in the end, I realize I have awesome friends! They stepped up to be me. They helped me. They understood. I got the chance to just work with the mare by myself and focus just on that. I needed it. My lesson kiddo was covered and even loped in the big field!!!!

Anxiety is one of those things that is really hard to explain. It’s almost like a seizure. After a bad attack, you are drained. You can’t explain WHY it happened. Sometimes it’s just a compound of life. Sometimes it’s a rainy day. Seriously, anything can set it off. It’s draining. It can be painful. It’s embarrassing. It’s traumatic. However, you can live with it. I don’t think it will ever go away 100%. Learning to manage it is key. I can say that my horses are almost the only thing that can 100% calm me.

With this being said, I’d be happy to offer advice to anyone who is experiencing anxiety. I have lived with it for over 20 years. It is REAL. It can be crippling. And it’s OK. Take a day or two to recover. Write down what your trigger was. Or at least your thoughts leading up to the episode. I have found mindfulness helpful. Reach out!!!!! You are not alone!

Ah. I’m an Optimist. Wait for it…

Lots of talk about how bad 2020 has been. I get it. Lost jobs, wrecked families, storms, and the list goes on. I could add on my list of “gasp… will it ever end?” But I tend to take a different approach to life. I am an optimist with a realist side. Let me explain.

2020 started out with a bang. I can’t remember how many years ago it started (insert humor) but I don’t remember the first 3 months being all so bad! Lynx and I did great at some races. My kid was learning new things. My husband was in a pretty good state of mind and my other horses were doing good too. In fact, Goose and I were riding a lot! I gained new students and the weather was pretty darn good too. Then… March comes along.

When spring break hit, I had plans. Plans to go places with my kid and have some fun! I even bought season passes for the water park for the summer! I was sitting one point away from winning the year for BRAT Barrel Racing and had a wonderful person who blessed me with so much! He helped me to get my business back on track! Heck, I even got my taxes done BEFORE Spring Break! 😱😱 Life was going good! Then… that virus came around and BAM… life changed.

The change happened. I refuse to call it our new normal. But it impacted a lot. This is where being a realist sucks but being and optimist pays off. So let’s start with the reality. Funds were low. Races were canceled. People lost jobs. Kids stayed home for online learning. I will throw in that Lynx injured his right hind leg. It was messy. BUT. Yes I said BUT… WE learned to appreciate what we lost. We learned to be flexible. WE LEARNED TO COMPENSATE for what was lost. Barrel racers changed the way they ran races so we could still go run. Moms and dads worked together to keep their kids in some what of a learning environment. Heck, I think most of us learned to REALLY appreciate teachers!!! We learned how to be resourceful. We learned to be kind and help others. Then… BAM… Riots.

I won’t go into much about Riots except when people are down on their luck, bored and think to much, the tend to over react to everything. The Internet has increased this over the years. Take away a person’s lively hood and they turn to stupid things. I’m not saying that the protests were stupid. I’m saying things got out of hand. Period. I was taught that there is always a right and a wrong way to handle a conflict. We can all guess which way it is going 😐.

What I saw with the Riot stuff is people standing up for themselves. People praying. People actually learning about the CONSTITUTION. 🇺🇸 I saw groups formed to keep livestock owners safe. I saw people helping people.

Moving forward. For me, since everyone was home, I did loose a couple of students but I gained several! I did have my good horse down but I gained Splash! I would have never bought a fourth horse had my mare not slipped her foal. I learned that I can still jump ride and not die or fall off! I learned that I can teach kids in groups! That is so much fun! I learned new ways to work with different styles of learners on horseback! Why? Because I had time. I had time to sit down and make lesson plans. I had time to advertise and talk to a new group of people! I also had help (thank you Tori!). None of this would have come into play had 2020 not happened!

Because of Splash, I won two saddles, a buckle and a bunch of other goodies! Because of Splash, I have a horse to teach kids how to go faster than I will allow on Lynx or Goose. This… this is my positive outlook!

While I was scrolling through all the mess on Facebook, I learned about a new product called Summit. I learned how it works by using it and getting to watch all four of my horses change while on this amazing product. I’m not sure I would have noticed as much if life was “normal”. But with the increase of students, I had the chance to actually see the changes! Let’s not forget that Gabe went from “too lame to ride” back to “lesson horse for the timid”!!!

We only have 4 more months of 2020 and I plan to make the most of it! My son changed schools and is super excited about riding the bus and meeting new friends! I now have three horses to run and four to give lessons. Yes, the hurricanes are horrible but I got to see some folks that I haven’t seen in a hot minute! Oh! And we got some very much needed rain! So let’s pray for those who have had a hard time of it and let’s count our blessings! Don’t forget to count your family and horses (dogs and cats too) twice! I know they have been my sanctuary from all the crazy! The world will keep spinning and if it doesn’t, then we get to meet Jesus (or God or whatever your belief) a little sooner! That is NOT in our control! All that is in OUR control is how we look at life! Be BLESSED!