My week was so full! My weekend was supposed to include taking two of my students to a playday! I was prepared! Canopy, water, fans, you name it! We even took one of the two to the arena to practice!!!! But once again, God had his plans, I had mine.

You see, a month ago, I smashed my foot with a water trough after I injured my hip and my knee on the same leg. Let’s just say that I didn’t follow orders. I was doing my physical therapy but my foot was not healing properly. What do we say about horses? No hoof no horse? Yup. So I should have focused on my injuries but prioritized my foot! Anyhow, I just kept going. Keeping it wrapped hurt. I found shoes that fit loose, gave my lessons then came inside and propped it up until feeding time day after day. It was not healing. I broke down and went to a foot doctor. Sigh.

This was on Friday. I saw this amazing doctor on Friday. I had two lessons scheduled that night and the Playday the next morning. They ended up taking x-rays, numbing my foot and doing a quick surgery in office. I was not prepared! They seemed shocked that I didn’t have anyone with me. That should have been my first clue. Now I have stitches in my foot and orders to stay off it, on crutches, in a surgical boot for 2 weeks. No water, no sweat, no dirt. Y’all, I have horses.

I decided to swing into Walmart to get some quick things then to tractor supply to buy dog food before heading home. I didn’t have my crutches in my truck. Wow. My foot was no longer numb…. I was slowly getting worse and worse. I made the drive home wearing my surgery boot on my right foot. I came inside and took a pain pill. I was thinking “ok, I got this. I can do this”. I went out to feed and catch for my lessons on my crutches. Do you know how hard it is to carry feed buckets while on crutches? Also, it was 100Β°. So much for not sweating!!! Moving forward…

I came back inside for a few minutes and tried to “not hurt”. My student showed up. My helper did too. The horse was being a jerk. You get the idea. Of course I set down my crutches. Apparently, the horse has an abscess in his front right foot. This made him act ugly. He was one of the two going to the playday. God said “sorry, not this one”.

After putting my stuff away, I really felt the pain and the sickness of being in pain settle in. God said “lay down”. So I did. I was really upset that I could not take these two students to the playday. I made a call to the other student and her mom is a nurse. She was like “there is always another show! Rest! Heal!” My soul hurt but I knew deep down that God was saying STOP. πŸ›‘

I’m not sure but I think God was telling me that I needed to stop when I hurt my hip. But I didn’t. Then my knee began to hurt and THEN I smashed my foot. I think he was like “WAIT, don’t do that!!!!!!!” Alas, I didn’t even try to listen. I was more focused on helping my students and getting things done. Now I’m down for two weeks. I think I will listen now! God, I hear you!!!!

With all this being said, I want to remind everyone to pay attention! Nothing is more important than your health. We can skirt by and see how far we can go until we break all the way down or we can stop, heal and move forward! Listen to HIM when He says stop! ❀️

Sigh. Getting old sucks.

I’m a mess. Literally. Some of you don’t know that I suffer from osteoarthritis and have had a total hip repair. See, in 2010, I managed to tear my hip socket. Shortly after it happened (at a barrel race) I found out I was pregnant! Yay! Problem was, I never got my hip looked at… so while I was cooking my baby boy, my hip was slowly ripping and deteriorating. Of course, as an avid barrel racer/horseback rider, I had put it off. I gave birth to my son early because I could no longer tolerate walking! He was a 9# 8.5oz baby boy! I had to have a full hysterectomy as well as my gallbladder and my appendix removed a year later. Then it hit me. I was experiencing major pain. Like drop to my knees pain.

I finally went to an orthopedic doctor in 2013. He rushed me to a specialist in hip surgery. Come to find out, I had torn my hip socket 75-85% and my femoral head had flattened and was just jutting out of the socket. Y’all, this was legit the pain that made me quit riding until it was fixed.

I wrecked my hip socket. I had surgery that lasted longer than it should have and was actually released early to ride as my body was used to the saddle and my PT was not addressing this fact. I was told that my Teras ligament was torn 95%. Something that my surgery could not repair. Dr. Hal Martin specifically said “don’t get bucked off, don’t do the splits and don’t sit Indian style”. This was my life. Yeah I made it though getting bucked off but sold the horse. I don’t sit Indian style… and why would I do the splits???

😳 Now I know what he meant. I didn’t do the splits on purpose!!! We have concrete floors and I slipped. Yup. Slipped on a dog bone πŸ₯΄. My bad leg went forward, good leg behind me. I went ALL THE WAY DOWN. Y’all, I have never done the splits on purpose but I would have made a gymnast proud! 😳 I felt it. I felt the snap. This is not good. I have been able to manage my hip pain (arthritis) since my repair in 2013. If it gets stoved up, I ride. No matter the weather, I freakin ride. Per my surgeon’s instructions, if it hurts, go freakin ride. So I did. At a walk. It hurt.

After my attempt to ride and relax my muscles so my hip could move like it needs to do, I realized that my slip really messed me up. πŸ€¦πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ A freakin dog toy messed me up. I have been bucked off, I have had to ride rank. I have had my fill of “oh crap” moments and managed to keep my hip in place. Slipped on a dog toy and…..bam.

Next step was getting into my surgeon. Luckily he is available next week. They want imaging done first. I’m down for that. I’m afraid that I might have torn that ligament all the way. What does that mean???? My hip, literally, has lost all stability. It feels like it is popping in and out of socket. It’s affecting all the same muscles that it did when I tore the socket. Sharp shooting pain and dull, nauseating ache. A FREAKIN DOG TOY. Sigh.

I want to ride. My soul wants me to ride. My body is saying “you are an idiot. You cannot ride”. I have been here before. Before my hip surgery, I picked a race, ran it and then sadly stopped until I was released 6 months later. No, not six months of rehab! I had to wait from August until November to have said surgery then was released 13 weeks later to ride.

I have two choices here. I can stop riding and sulk. I can legit just quit and sit on my bed (couch hurts) and quit. I can spiral down and quit until it is fixed. OR… I can keep going and coach my lessons, ride a little despite the pain and wait to see if my surgeon can fix me. Right now I’m on the fence. The pain is horrible when I ride. Imagine something poking all your ligaments when you are in the saddle. Then when you get off, imagine being kicked in the crotch by a sharp object. It makes me cry. Pain meds do not touch this deep pain. This is a give it to God and pray for peace pain.

My brain is in an awkward battle right now. It’s depressing to think that I cannot ride. But giving lessons brings me joy. It doesn’t hurt that bad to just walk and give lessons. It does make my heart ache not being able to ride while watching others ride. I’m at a point where I don’t know exactly what to do next. I caught my horse and was going to ride. Yup, you read that correctly. Lucky for my hip that Mother Nature had other plans. But then my surgeon’s assistant called and told me they are rushing me to next week! Yay!!! This is either good or bad. Not sure! However, God has his plans!!!! So for now I will enjoy giving my lessons, do my best to keep moving without hurting myself and maybe sit on my horse from time to time until I’m told that I’m all clear!