Identity Crisis

When I was young, I rode horses. I rode them a lot! I jumped on and would take to the woods to ride! Then I was enrolled in English riding classes that were focused on jumping. I still rode the woods at the ranch but I began to develop some skills! I taught the old horses (they were just trail horses) new things and just adapted to their skills. After a year of English classes, I was granted my first horse!!!! He was a green broke Appaloosa that was race bred. This is when I began to develop my identity!

TJ was a smart, stubborn, but teachable horse. He taught me more about myself that I even realized at the time. I hung out with the barrel racers and the team penners. We had so much fun!!!! I bought my first project horse as a junior in high school. Gypsy was something else. I had to learn how to train a totally different way. Yet I was still a barrel racer. Many horses later, Gabe came into my life. Another one that would do just about anything I asked. We barrel raced. We sorted cattle. We rode trails. We taught lessons. We would randomly go help bring up a herd of cattle. Yet my classification was barrel racer.

Lynx was born and ended up with me just before I was pregnant with my only child. He was broke broke broke. A little quirky but so much fun! I took my 9 months off to cook my baby in my belly as motion sickness really kept me from riding. As soon as I was released, I found a way to ride Lynx, Gabe, Joe and Trip. Trip and Joe eventually were sold and Gabe injured himself in a bad way. Lynx was my only mount! We began to enter the races! I was so excited about how he moved up in the world of barrel racing. He took me places I had never gone. We won things that I never dreamed of winning. I have had a few since Lynx began his career but no horse was like LYNX. I was a barrel racer and we were a team!!!

Lynx is now 16. Lynx has been on and off for the last two years. We have raced maybe 5 times in the last two years. My barrel racer identity has been revoked. Whiskey came into my life a year ago and I’m anxiously awaiting the day I get to swing my leg over him! Currently, my classification is “riding coach”.

I’m am experiencing an identity crisis. I don’t know what Whiskey will be when he grows up. I cannot currently handle taking on another horse. Gabe and Lynx are retired in my pasture. I have two others to give lessons with and honestly, I don’t feel any joy to ride the lesson horses. I want to ride the colt.

This month I will turn 44. I never thought that I would cash in the barrel racing card. Honestly, I never thought Lynx would be down and out. I’m doing my best to turn him out. Let him be a horse. Let time heal. On the flip side, I feel that I may never be at the level of barrel racing that I was with Lynx. Oddly, I’m ok with that. If Whiskey has any desire to chase cans, we will do it. But I really want to learn a new trade. I’m a little exited and a little scared of what that means. But it’s ok. God has his plans. Trusting God to give me direction is really hard. I have to do it! Who knows? I might be a stellar showman!!! Whiskey might light a new fire in me to go show on cattle! I always liked to go team penning! I always liked to play on cattle! Maybe that is our path? Maybe a new door is opening? Only time will tell! I guess this is my midlife crisis??? I have even been looking at stock saddles and gear. My trailer is even ready to roll to a show. Now to get the horse ready to roll to a show!!!

What I Offer With Lessons.

I have a lot of folks asking what I offer for lessons! So I figured I would give a description of how a typical lesson goes.. let’s give this a try!

Today, Stella came for a lesson! She normally would have to catch the horse she is riding for the lesson but I decided I would wade through the mud and catch a few. She showed up and took off his blanket to reveal a muddy horse! Off to the back of the trailer she went to gather the grooming supplies! She began to brush off the mud and prep him to saddle. Next, she gathered her saddle pad from the back of my trailer and her saddle. She knows where to place the pad because I have taught her! Next she attempts to swing the saddle on to the horse. She is short and he is tall so I did help! Next time, she will figure out how to use the mounting block to swing that saddle! Once she had Spider saddled (I watch like a hawk and have taught her how to safely move around horses that are tied or loose) she gathered his leg gear and his bridle. Leg gear on, she then dropped the halter to his neck and bridled him (with help from me) and off to the riding area we went!

Before we begin to work on turning, the horse needs to be warmed up! She began with a walking lap each direction then proceeded into trotting 3 laps each direction! Of course I’m telling her things about her posture, hands and feet to help her to work with the horse for this step!

After a good warm up, we worked on how to turn. No, I don’t have a barrel pattern set up. I personally own a full set of poles and 7 barrels. I set up random things for the students to work around. Sometimes it’s figure 8’s. Sometimes it’s a giant rectangle. It just depends on what we are targeting for the day. Today Stella was working on turning at a trot then driving him to lope after completing the turn! Working on control etc. After we have completed our goals and everyone is working nice, we quit. Then Stella dismounted, loosed the the saddle and lead spider back to the trailer. There she un-tacked him and put everything away. She brushed him and would have turned him loose if I didn’t have another kiddo on the way. All in all, she was at my house almost for 2 hours!

Sometimes our lessons are an hour. Sometimes two. Heck, I have a few that are learning how to do ground work. Sometimes that is 4 hours. My price is the same no matter the time. I charge $50 a lesson. I do my best to clear two hours per student. Sometimes I will have two students ride together but only the ones I know will work together! They usually really enjoy having a partner to ride with and learn from each other!

When you sign up to take lessons with me, it’s a full meal deal. I teach horsemanship first. We build from there! Also, since I don’t have a covered arena, we have to be respectful of Mother Nature! I hope this helps!

Trusting The Process

When you have horses and you compete, there are soooo many things that make you step back and scratch your head. Sometimes you have to scratch an event due to injury or sub in a different horse that you were not really ready to enter up.

Something I have learned over the years is that God has a reason. His path for you may not be the path you prayed for but it’s HIS path. We have all thrown our suckers in the dirt. Trust me. I have been there many times. Then I ask God “Why”? I have since learned that if I pray over the situation before I start, I am asking WHY less. Instead I chalk it up to God’s desire for me. Let me see if I can put my example into words.

In 2011, I gave birth to my son. As soon as I was ready to start riding, I did. I had Gabe the Babe as my finished 10 year old. I had Zbar Lynx To Cash as my up and coming and I had Joes Streakin For Cash to exhibition on so I concentrated on legging up Gabe and Joe first. We went to several races until July. The first week of July, Gabe set back, flipped over and broke something in his SI area. His hips basically. He was done. This is a horse that never set back. He was my easy going, do anything, faithful horse! I was crushed! I asked God why. I threw my sucker in the dirt. On top of that, Joe was cold backed and I didn’t feel confident on him enough to haul him. Again I asked WHY, God??? He whispered to me to look at the gangly 4 year old standing right there! I didn’t think Lynx was physically ready. He was awkward, but man oh man was he broke! I decided I would concentrate on Lynx.

Gabe was down for a year before I was able to re-check him and find out that he had some arthritis really take over so he was for sure just going to be a light riding horse. Yes, I cried, prayed, cried… But Lynx was doing good! I set Joe aside because I knew something was “off” with him. Lynx went from the 3D (yes, he started in the 3D) to the 2D and bumping the 1D here and there. I began to pray before each ride, each run and I found that my sucker didn’t get thrown in the dirt anymore!!!!! Why? Because I was learning to trust the process! No, we were not bank rolling but we improved every ride, every run and that, my friends, was a success in my soul! Yes, I was still bummed about Gabe and Joe but Lynx… my gosh, that horse is amazing!

Moving forward. Lynx came down with pneumonia. It was BAD. He came down with it right after I had finally figured out that Joe had a broken splint bone in his hind leg. We did the surgery to fix Joe and had to leave Lynx, for six weeks, at the vet. I was told that his lungs might never be 100%. He might never get to run again. I hit my knees and prayed HARD. God says to me— look at Joe. Ride him. I have Lynx, ride Joe. So I did! Joe and I went to a lot of jackpots to exhibition and honestly, he was not “my style”. He was gritty. He liked to turn that barrel in four wheel drive. I decided to sell him so he could excel with someone else. It was HARD. But I did it. Then Lynx was ready to leg up! The Power of Prayer had healed his lungs! But, he is a bleeder. So I had to pick and choose my races and run him on lasix. No big deal! Lynx quickly moved up the ranks to 1D local and 2D at bigger shows then 1D at bigger shows!!!!! It was such a blessing!!!!

Move on to this year. Really starting last year. Lynx developed a limp in his front right foot. We did the injections. I turned him out. I pulled his shoes. I prayed. I also brought home a little bay horse named Whiskey. He is young and full of it. I really was in a funk about Lynx. We had over 10 years of amazing runs! He won five saddles and I’m not even 100% on how much $$$$$$ he brought home. Every single run was a blessing. Whiskey went to school and Lynx was diagnosed with a core lesion in his deep digital flexor tendon. It’s a fate I do not wish on anyone. Shockingly, he recovered! I was told he would never recover! He had been turned out for about 3 months. I had the vet re-check him and it was gone! The vet even said “I don’t know whom you prayer warriors are, but keep them around because this is an act of GOD”. I was so excited! We worked out and finally I entered a race 3 months later. One race. It felt AMAZING. God blessed me with one more run on this athlete!!!! Sadly, his lesion happened again. And he got another one on his left front. This time, I prayed hard but I am accepting God’s process. HIS PATH for me is always changing.

Now I am comfortable with the idea that Lynx will never run barrels again. I might still be able to ride him. I might even get to work cattle on him. But no barrels. He is done. And since I am accepting God’s will, I’m at peace with that. I have a scruffy little bay colt that might just change my life! Whiskey aka Skeet Rey Scott, is also home grown (literally almost all of my horses are home grown) and has so much potential! I chose a trainer that focuses on more of the ranch versatility vs speed events. Many are questioning my decision. I am not. GOD told me to do this. I think God is wanting me to learn a new trade!!! So I will TRUST THE PROCESS!!!!!!